The Moments
The moment…
I will never forget the moment/s… The moment I thought to myself I feel different, the moment I thought are you okay, the moment I thought don’t be silly your fine, the moment you didn’t move after having something cold or sugary, the moment I saw no heartbeat, the moment I started active labour, the moment your head was engaged, the moment you laid silent on my chest, the moment I held you for the last time… there are endless moments of heartache & pain. Moments of confusion, disbelief, heartache, sadness, but moments of pride, love & admiration… such as the moment we saw those two lines, the moment we first heard your heartbeat, the moment those flutters turned to kicks, the moment I was overwhelmed with love as I sat watching daddy read to you in my belly, the moment I saw the pride & love in daddy’s eyes as he held you for the first time… there are endless moments of pure love.
The moments that still arise years later, the moments that will never stop…
So, in a world of moments, a world of pain, a world of lack, a world of forever wishing, dreaming, hoping, choose to reflect, cherish and to honour. To acknowledge each moment but to search deep inside to fill your world will love, pride, the admiration for your precious little miracle, in the sea of heartache & pain.
Despite the lack of physical presence, I am so thankful that we create more moments. Like the moment Parker writes your name in the family tree at school, the moment Nixon asks his cousin, ‘How tall do you think my oldest brother would be',’ or the moments they scream “Huddy’s here” when they see a rainbow. These moments are no way more than what we could have had, should our Hudson be here with us, but I choose to cherish these moments, to feel the love within every inch of my being, to cuddle and appreciate Huddy’s other siblings because of his precious existence. The fear, the anxiety can be crippling but choose love always. Choose to reflect, cherish and honour this journey, your little miracle, your growth even though you cannot make sense of or understand it.
If you’re unsure how to navigate the endless sea of moments, a great way to start is to be creative through writing, drawing, colouring in and/or photo collage. This can help allow you to release the truth that lies within, your thoughts, your feelings and how they influence your mind, your body and your spirit. Encourage your mind to love, as you allow yourself the time and space to rebuild, reconnect and align within yourself. Choose you today!
Nothing will ever make this fair, nothing will ever make this okay, but how you move towards harmony within yourself, will allow you to find peace within this incredibly cruel, horribly underestimated pain. As you navigate your journey, remind yourself you are not alone but you and your journey are unique. Connect with you, to find what you need to find peace within your life’s journey.
These journals, help support and guide you through the three phases I believed helped me to be where I am today. As I reflect, and allowed myself to be vulnerable, to be open to whatever emotions presented, helped me move through cherishing Hudson’s very existence, the special moments we got to share. These two phases helped me then move into honour, forever honouring his life and how his precious existence inspired me to find myself. The beauty in these journals is that you can start to heal and connect at any stage in your journey, whether you are a newly bereaved mother, or five- or ten years in. This journal is one where you can reconnect and recreate a beautiful bond with your loved one in heaven. Click here to get your journal today. Use 10%Read at the checkout to get 10% off, or purchasing overseas, send me an email to get an individual quote.
Sending you all so much love,
Tia xx